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July 04
I hate the way you talk to me,
And the way you cut your hair
I hate the way you drive my car,
I hate it when you stare
I hate your big dumb combat boots
And the way you read my mind
I hate you so much it makes me sick
It even makes me rhyme
I hate the way you're always right,
I hate it when you lie
I hate it when you make me laugh,
Even worse when you make me cry
I hate it that you are not around,
And the fact that you didn't call
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you
Not even close, not even a little bit,
Not even at all...
June 06
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Beauty and the East
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I grew up near a small town in South Dakota. The only religions I was exposed to were various denominations of Christianity. My family and I occasionally attended a Lutheran church, encouraged by my mother, and I was eventually confirmed Lutheran. I did believe in God, but did not believe in all that "church stuff": singing, worshiping pictures of crosses and Jesus, and eating "the body and blood of Christ." It just did not make any sense to me.
For as long as I can remember, something was always missing. There was this hole in my heart, this great sadness and dark loneliness penetrating every cell of my body, mind, and soul. Nothing could fill that hole, and the pain would not go away. I turned to alcohol at a very early age to numb that deep, agonizing pain, but it was only temporary, and it always made me feel even worse after the numbness wore off.
My distance from my family and everyone else around me only increased as I grew older. I had so much disgust and hatred for myself, which caused me to be absolutely horrible to my parents. All I remember wanting was to escape — escape where I was and who I was. However, I found that no matter how hard I tried, I could not escape who I was. Therefore, I was determined to do what I could to escape where I was before I literally destroyed myself.
| I became a slave to my looks. I was consumed by it all. |
I dropped out of college and left South Dakota for Florida by myself when I was 19. Able to make a fresh start in an exciting new environment, I found a bit of happiness for a brief period of time. But it was only superficial. That pain and sadness, that hole in my heart, was still there.
I spent many years searching for something to heal myself. I turned to psychology, self-help books and tapes and exercise, all of which really did help me a great deal. I was able to gain some strength in order to go on with my life. I did get caught up in the Florida lifestyle though. My various jobs enabled me to gain some easy cash, so it left as fast as it came, thanks to a lot of shopping and partying. In order to keep up with everyone else, I got credit cards — a lot of credit cards — and found myself sinking deeper and deeper in debt, but not even caring since I was just living for the day. I was also caught up in my looks. It cost a lot of time and money to look good. I became a slave to my looks. I was consumed by it all: hairdresser, manicurist, gym, mall, etc. After all, I was how I looked, or so I thought. And I just knew I would be happy if everyone was looking at me, if I got a lot of attention. And I did get attention, but I hated it. It made me miserable. So what would make me happy? I was still searching.
I found love, and that made me happy for a little while. Then I began looking into religions, all types and kinds of religions. Interestingly enough, I discovered there to be some "universal truths" in many religions. It seemed the rest was different, but the essence was the same. My love for all of humanity and the peace in my heart increased greatly with my spiritual search and growth. I came to be most interested in "metaphysical studies," and some sort of Eastern-type meditation and yoga. I adhered mostly to these. However, I wanted more. I wanted someone to tell me exactly what to do and how to do it. I needed rules and structure. And I just could not get that as this particular field is very liberal, abstract, and free.
Eventually I went back to college, and that made me feel much better about myself. I developed a passion for international relations and after I learned the ugly truth about "American History" and "US Foreign Policy," I was horrified with all the injustice, racism, and oppression. It broke my heart. I was so saddened by the suffering in the world. I decided I must do something about it.
| I was just too strong-headed to submit the way one must in order to be a Muslim. |
I began networking with and educating local high school and college students about the injustice in the Middle East, and eventually I began organizing local activists to travel to Washington, DC, to protest the upcoming war in Iraq. During this process, I met an amazing man — a Muslim — who was doing this very same kind of work. I had never seen someone who had dedicated his life to the causes I cared so much for — justice and human rights. He had started his own organization, which I volunteered for so that I could learn from him and help in the struggle. As we worked together, he shared with me the stories of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), the Companions, and the amazing civilization of Islam — the only instance of a just society on this planet. I was shocked to hear these stories, as I knew nothing about this history. I became enchanted with Islam and read all I could about it, eventually reading the Qur'an.
I found in Islam the truth I was searching for. Finally it all made sense. However, I realized I had so many misconceptions and stereotypes I was not even aware of. First of all, I was not keen on the women issue and did not yet understand why they dressed so differently. I said resolutely, "I could never dress like that," as I still had the mindset that "how I look is who I am." So if people could not see how I looked, then I would not even exist. Also, what about "the woman stays at home and just takes care of the kids and the household and listens to her husband"? This was too much for me! There was just no way that I could understand why a woman would stay at home. Who is she if she is not "out there" climbing her way to that glass ceiling? And why should she be so obedient to her husband?
I did find the beautiful answers to these questions, which are very logical and amazingly functional. You see, Islam is not just a religion. It is a complete way of life. In it, you have the guidance and the answers to even the smallest of details, like how to eat and sleep. It is amazing!
However, I still was not willing to commit to Islam. It seemed too tough for me; it was too much responsibility and I was just too strong-headed to submit the way one must in order to be a Muslim. Then one cool January night in 2003, I was on the bus ride back from another antiwar rally in Washington, DC, I was at a crossroads in my life. I hated my job and had recently left my husband as we had grown apart. I had had enough of organizing the antiwar people. I was 29 years old and had no idea what I would do with my life. I broke down and started crying. I said to myself, "What can I do? What can I do? I just want to be a good person and make the world a better place. But how? What should I do?" All of a sudden, the answer came to me: Be a Muslim. That's it! A blanket of comforting peace embraced me. I felt so calm and sure and full of joy. All of a sudden I had a purpose in life, a reason to exist.
| Life is still life: It's not easy, but now I have a guidebook. |
One week later, I said my Shahadah (testimony of faith) at a public groundbreaking for a new mosque. As soon as I said it, two rainbows appeared in the sky! Everyone who witnessed it was very touched and all the Muslim sisters came up to me afterwards hugging me. I was crying from so much joy, as were most of the people there, happy to have me in the Ummah (community of Muslims).
The next day, eager to show the world I was a Muslim, I went to a local Middle Eastern store where they sold beautiful hijabs (headscarves) and dresses appropriate for the required Muslim dress. I bought many dresses and scarves, and from that day forward, I dressed properly. Ahhhhh … free at last! I had broken the chains of fashion and physical enslavement enforced by a superficial society. Honestly, I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I no longer felt the pressure to dress and look better than everyone else. I finally respected myself and no longer based my self-worth on the reactions and attention of others. While many looked at me strangely — some with pity, some with anger, and some with curiosity — I really did get so much respect like never before.
Al-hamdu lillah (all praise be to Allah), the wonderful man who introduced me to Islam married me exactly one month after I became Muslim. Since then we have continued our work together against injustice throughout the world. We have traveled throughout the Middle East and moved from America to Egypt to be with my husband's mother and to live in an "Islamic" environment. Al-hamdu lillah, I am blessed with a beautiful family, in addition to the larger family — the Ummah — I gained when I became a Muslim.
Life is still life: It's not easy, but now I have a guidebook, a structure, a foundation. My heart is complete. The sadness and loneliness are gone. I now feel I belong. I am somebody. And I am home, at least for now, in this millisecond we call dunya (worldly life), until I am in my final, eternal home, in the akhira (afterlife), in sha' Allah (if Allah wills), near to my beloved, the Creator and Lord of the Worlds, Allah, Glorified and Exalted is He.
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May 15
In the name of God the Beneficent the Merciful
"KAABA"
The House of ALLAH in Makkah. The Kaa'ba is covered by a black cloth known as 'Kiswa', which is produced & changed every year. Special factory designed for the making of Kiswa in Makkah. It costs approx. SR 17million.The cloth is made of 670kgs of silver dyed black, about 120kgs of pure gold & 50kgs of silver used in writing the Qur'anic verses over the cloth. The total area of the cloth is 658sqr meter.
By the declining day, Lo! man is in a state of loss, Save those who believe and do good works, and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to endurance. (Surah Al-'Asr - Holy Qura'n)
The life of this world is only idle sport and play, and if you believe and guard (against evil) He will give you your rewards, and will not
ask of you your possessions. - [47. Surah Muhammad : Ayah 36]
"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of ALLAH: for without doubt in the remembrance of ALLAH do hearts find satisfaction." (Surah Ra'd, 13:28 - The Holy Qur'an)
'O you who believe! Enter perfectly in Islåm ånd follow not the footsteps of Shåytån. Verily, he is to you å plåin enemy.' [Ål-Qurån-ul ~2:208]
"O God, I ask you to grant me the love of You and the love of those whom You love, and grant me, Oh my Lord the love of those actions which lead me to the love of You." - Ameen
Ten Commandments for Stress Free Programming
Thou shalt not worry about bugs.
Bugs in your software are actually special features.
Thou shalt not fix abort conditions.
Your user has a better chance of winning state lottery than getting the same abort again.
Thou shalt not handle errors.
Error handing was meant for error prone people, neither you or your users are error prone.
Thou shalt not restrict users.
Don't do any editing, let the user input anything, anywhere, anytime. That is being very user friendly.
Thou shalt not optimize.
Your users are very thankful to get the information, they don't worry about speed and efficiency.
Thou shalt not provide help.
If your users can not figure out themselves how to use your software than they are too dumb to deserve the benefits of your software anyway.
Thou shalt not document.
Documentation only comes in handy for making future modifications. You made the software perfect the first time, it will never need modifications.
Thou shalt not hurry.
Only the cute and the mighty should get the program by deadline.
Thou shalt not revise.
Your interpretation of specs was right, you know the users' requirements better than them.
Thou shalt not share.
If other programmers needed some of your code, they should have written it themselves May 03 
Bhai Ka Resume
Pakya Bhai Supariwala
Objective:
To obtain a challenging position as a Crime Implementation Analyst (CIA)
Education:
* B.S. (Crime Technology) Tihar Jail, India, August 1994
* M.S. (Criminal Sciences) Virginia Prison for International Smugglers and
The Unlawful Activists(VPISUA) , August 1996.
Thesis:
"On escaping from high security prisons like Alcatraz with minimal efforts"
Coursework:
Cop Psychology, Plastic Explosives Technology, Bomb Controls and Timer
Device Theory, International Smuggling and Drug Trafficking, Object Oriented
Crime Design
Work Experience:
* Research Assistant, LTTE Labs, Jaffna, Aug 1990-Aug 1991
* Worked on the prestigious Belt Bomb project
* Developed instant death cyanide capsules in orange, strawberry; and mint
Flavors (Patent# 007,13,666)
Summer Internship:
* Dawood Ibrahim and Haji Mastan Associates, Bombay, June1987-July1990
* Worked as a hitman and was responsible for many supari style killings
* Participated in election rigging in Bihar and made hafta Collections
Honors & Achievements:
* Won 1980 Gabbar Singh Memorial Award (given to child prodigies in crime)
* Member, IPKF (Indian Professional Killers Forum) student chapter
* Performer of the year in 2004 General Elections in Bihar & U.P.
* Strong hold on Govt. & NGOs.
* Specialized in extortion,illegal construction business & fake academic
Degree supply.
References:
* Dr. Charles Sobhraj, Full Time Prof., Tihar Jail, New Delhi
* Dr. Chandra Swamy, Visiting Faculty Tihar Jail, New Delhi
* Dr. Dawood Ibrahim, Overseas Projects Manager, Dubai April 12
Beauty of Mathemagic
1 x 8 + 1 = 9
12 x 8 + 2 = 98
123 x 8 + 3 = 987
1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876
12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765
123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654
1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543
12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432
123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321
1 x 9 + 2 = 11
12 x 9 + 3 = 111
123 x 9 + 4 = 1111
1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111
12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111
123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111
1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111
12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111
123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111
9 x 9 + 7 = 88
98 x 9 + 6 = 888
987 x 9 + 5 = 8888
9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888
98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888
987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888
9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888
98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888
Brilliant, isn't it?
And finally, take a look at this symmetry:
1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111=12345678987654321
March 29 WitH oUt YOu
I can't live without you.
I would breathe the air,
and my heart would beat,
but I would not feel the joy of life.
My dreams would be lost
like a leaf carted away by a storm.
I would gaze at the stars
without appreciating the
way they light up the sky.
I would pass the roses in bloom
without noticing their beauty.
I would no longer look forward
to each sunset and each dawn.
I would be broken,
never to be mended again.
Winter would own my heart;
its icy breath would steal
the warmth in my soul,
because I could not smile
without your love.
I could not know laughter
or happiness.
If you were lost to me,
I'd have no reason to try,
no reason to be.
You are my prayer,
my shelter from
hopelessness and despair,
my sunshine, my light,
my lazy days,
my peaceful nights,
and only you can keep the
spark in my soul burning bright.
You call it madness, but I call it love.
To fear love is to fear life
Those who give love, gather love
When love reigns the impossible may be attained
True love doesn't have a happy ending: true love never have an
ending
Choose your love, and then love your choice
The rose speaks of love silently, in a language known only to
the heart.
To be your friend was all I ever wanted; to be your lover was
all I ever dreamed
There is no remedy to love but to love more.
One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word
is Love.
If I know what love is, it is because of you.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to
like someone and a day to love someone - but takes a lifetime to
forget someone.
To the world you may be only one person, But to one person you
may be the world.
A ring is round and has no end ... so is my love for you my
friend.
If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When
mountains crumble to the sea, it will still be you and me.
Love puts the fun in together,
the sad in apart,
the hope in tomorrow,
the joy in a heart.
I love you as big as the sky, as tall as the mountains and as
deep as the ocean.
Here's my hand,
reaching out for you
take it darling
it belongs to you.
It's hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your
heart still does.
If you love nothing, what joy have you?
Falling in love is a joy, but being in love is a challenge.
Thank you for teaching my heart to dance among the stars.
I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love.
I love you more now than when you began to read this sentence. This is a great list a must read for all those software engineers out there
It is written by Andre Taylor on his bloghttp://www.taylor.se/blog/and the original address for the post is http://www.taylor.se/blog/2007/03/22/top-ten-things-ten-years-of-professional-software-development-has-taught-me/
Posted: 2007-03-22
I was reading this top ten list yesterday, and I thought I can problably come up with my own list of things no-one told me before I started developing software for money. This is my list.
 Object orientation is much harder than you think
Maybe it's just me, but coming from Computer Science class I thought that OO was easy. I mean, how hard can it be to create classes that mimic the real world? It turns out that it's pretty hard. Ten years later, I'm still learning how to model properly. I wish I spent more time reading up on OO and design patterns. Good modeling skills are worth a lot to every development team.
- The difficult part of software development is communication
And that's communication with persons, not socket programming. Now and then you do run into a tricky technical problem, but it's not at all that common. Much more common is misunderstandings between you and the project manager, between you and the customer and finally between you and the other developers. Work on your soft skills.
- Learn to say no
When I started working, I was very eager to please. This meant that I had a hard time saying no to things people asked of me. I worked a lot of overtime, and still didn't finish everything that was asked of me. The result was disappointment from their side, and almost burning out on my part. If you never say no, your yes is worth very little. Commit to what you can handle, and if people keep asking you for more, make it very explicit that this would mean not doing something else. What I did was to have a list of stuff that I needed to do on a piece of paper with me. When someone asked for something, I showed them the list and asked what I should bump to have time to help them. This allowed me to say no in a nice way.
- If everything is equally important, then nothing is important
The business likes to say that all the features are as crucial. They are not. Push back and make them commit. It's easier if you don't force them to pick what to do and what not to do. Instead, let them choose what you should do this week. This will let you produce the stuff that brings value first. If all else goes haywire, at least you've done that.
- Don't over-think a problem
I can spend whole days designing things in front of the white board. That doesn't mean it will be any better, it just means it will be more complicated. I don't mean to say you shouldn't design at all, just that the implementation will quickly show me stuff I didn't think of anyway, so why try to make it perfect? Like Dave Farell says: "The devil is in the details, but exorcism is in implementation, not theory." These are 5 things... where are the rest of them .. well to read the complete list visit the original writer's blog or simply click here I am not a plagiarist and want to give due credit to the writer. Top 10 Foods for a Good Night's Sleep
What is the secret to getting a solid 7 to 8 hours of sleep? Head
for the kitchen and enjoy one or two of these 10 foods. They
relax tense muscles, quiet buzzing minds, and/or get calming,
sleep-inducing hormones - serotonin and melatonin - flowing.
Yawning yet?
Bananas.
They're practically a sleeping pill in a peel. In
addition to a bit of soothing melatonin and serotonin, bananas
contain magnesium, a muscle relaxant.
Chamomile tea.
The reason chamomile is such a staple of bedtime
tea blends is its mild sedating effect - it's the perfect natural
antidote for restless minds/bodies.
Warm milk.
It's not a myth. Milk has some tryptophan - an amino
acid that has a sedative - like effect - and calcium, which helps
the brain use tryptophan. Plus there's the psychological
throw-back to infancy, when a warm bottle meant "relax,
everything's fine."
Honey.
Drizzle a little in your warm milk or herb tea. Lots of
sugar is stimulating, but a little glucose tells your brain to
turn off orexin, a recently discovered neurotransmitter that's
linked to alertness.
Potatoes.
A small baked spud won't overwhelm your GI tract, and
it clears away acids that can interfere with yawn-inducing
tryptophan. To up the soothing effects, mash it with warm milk.
Oatmeal.
Oats are a rich source of sleep - inviting melatonin,
and a small bowl of warm cereal with a splash of maple syrup is
cozy - plus if you've got the munchies, it's filling too.
Almonds.
A handful of these heart-healthy nuts can be
snooze-inducing, as they contain both tryptophan and a nice dose
of muscle-relaxing magnesium.
Flaxseeds.
When life goes awry and feeling down is keeping you
up, try sprinkling 2 tablespoons of these healthy little seeds
on your bedtime oatmeal. They're rich in omega-3 fatty acids, a
natural mood lifter.
Whole-wheat bread.
A slice of toast with your tea and honey will
release insulin, which helps tryptophan get to your brain, where
it's converted to serotonin and quietly murmurs "time to sleep."
Turkey.
It's the most famous source of tryptophan, credited with
all those Thanksgiving naps. But that's actually modern folklore.
Tryptophan works when your stomach's basically empty, not
overstuffed, and when there are some carbs around, not tons of
protein. But put a lean slice or two on some whole-wheat bread
mid-evening, and you've got one of the best sleep inducers in
your kitchen.
What if none of these foods help you get your zzz's? Check out
your sleep habits with this quick RealAge test to find out what?s
keeping you up at night. http://www.realage. com/health_
guides/RLS/ intro.aspx
For an extra treat, here's the ultimate sleep-inducing snack...
Lullaby Muffins
Makes 12 low-fat muffins
Between the bananas, the whole wheat, and the honeyed touch of
sweetness, these muffins are practically an edible lullaby.
€ ç¾'µ 2 cups whole-wheat pastry flour
€ ç¾'µ 1/2 teaspoon salt
€ ç¾'µ 1 tablespoon baking powder
€ ç¾'µ 2 large, very ripe bananas
€ ç¾'µ 1/3 cup applesauce
€ ç¾'µ 1/4 cup honey
€ ç¾'µ 1/2 cup milk or soymilk
Preheat oven to 350F. In a large bowl, combine the flour (make
sure it's whole-wheat pastry flour or you'll produce golf balls,
not muffins), salt, and baking powder. In a blender, puree the
bananas; add the applesauce, honey, and milk. Blend well. Pour
the banana mixture into the dry ingredients and stir until just
moistened. Line muffin tins with paper muffin cups, pour in
batter, and bake 30 minutes or until tops are lightly brown and
slightly springy.
Nutrition Facts
Per serving: 119 calories; 1g fat; 2.5g protein; 27g
carbohydrates; 10g sugars; 133mg sodium; 3g fiber; 35mg magnesium
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